I truly understand just how busy modern people’s lives are. To back that up with sincerity, let me tell you that I’m running a company and running a small farm simultaneously. There seldom seem to be enough hours in the day! I believe that all this hard work that I do (and that you are doing) should amount to something beyond simply more work. I believe it should amount to the right to take care of myself and my family – to cook for them and have the time to eat. Maybe your husband could see this in this light? What is all the work for if one is not entitled, by dint of it, to take the time to eat well?

Many families are rearranging their lives in modern times so that they can have the time to live as well as to work. Sometimes this means moving to a more affordable place on the map, finding a way to work from home or finding new employment that ensures that at least one family member is at home part of the day to cook or tend the garden. It can be done.

The equation that it might be helpful for you and your husband to examine together is the dubious idea of experts. Most Americans’ lives are based upon the principle that one has to pay experts to do the majority of life’s tasks…pay the teacher to educate the children, pay the food processing plant to make the tomato sauce, pay the restaurant to cook the meal, pay the sweat shop to make the clothing, pay the mechanic to fix the car.

This has created a nation where most of us only have a single skill (web design, teaching, retail, counseling, etc.) and, unfortunately, this means that few Americans know how to take care of themselves without paying other people to do it for them. All of those hours of work we put in don’t amass survival skills for us…they simply enable us to keep paying the experts.

By contrast, hours spent learning to cook, farm, sew, teach children, build a website, etc., have the reward of skills that you then posses for a lifetime. It’s an investment that has a sustainable reward.

I decided at some point that I wanted to be the main expert in my life and while there are some things I will likely always leave to other experts, it became clear to me that by learning to do things for myself with confidence, I would find a life beyond the workaday world that seems to run in an endless circle of performing a single skill, day after day, in order to pay others, year after year, for performing their single skill.

Now, it may not be right for you and your husband to quit your jobs, buy land in Arkansas, homeschool your kids and start growing all your own food. That would be an awfully huge change. But, you can begin working with this idea of getting more real about the expert chain.

If you can’t grow your own food right now, then consider paying the expert farmer directly for the food he grows locally…rather than buying processed food that travels an average of 13,000 miles to reach your plate. Joining a CSA is not much more expensive than buying from a grocery store and the quality of the food is about 1 million times better.

And, in terms of cooking that food, start simply. Learn how to make a pot of rice, a pot of beans, a salad, a stir fry. These things are so easy to make and you can add to your personal cookbook over time. Many of the most nutritious foods on the planet only require washing them (raw fruits and veggies).

I really do hear your wish to find a way to make a change, Jennifer, and believe that it may be most helpful for you, initially, to contemplate that all of your ancestors knew how to gather/produce food and cook that food. All of that knowledge is standing behind you, willing you to succeed as a human who knows how to survive and care for loved ones. The step for you is to find a way to reclaim those skills. Be bold about your right to claim this authority and then see if there are changes you can begin making that make you the #1 expert in your life. I believe you can do it.

Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Miriam

I feel deep down like you’re right in everything you said in this post…but I also really do feel I do not have the time, knowledge or time to gain this knowledge. I have a nearly two year old son and a 14 year old sister-in-law. I work so hard just to make sure my son gets his fruits and vegetables. I know that what we eat is so important and I want it to be healthy but between my husband (saying we eat healthy enough), the extragavant healthy recipes and my constant feeling of being busy I just don’t know how to achieve this freedom you speak of.

I agree completely that farmers are the smart ones. So many Americans have never even had the chance to meet a farmer, and that’s why I’m so excited about the farm markets, farm stores and CSAs. It’s a chance for people to really get to know the men and women who grow their food. Important stuff!

Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.
Miriam

We moved from the city nearly 20 years ago and learned how smart farmers really are.

No garden this year for us–we are going to our local farmer’s markets.

Cilantro is growing in a little pot on a sunny window sill!
Harriet

I’m so glad you enjoyed this article. Happy 4th of July to you, Lori!
Miriam

If we can help children appreciated freshly-grown food and teach them how to cook, we can reverse the “packaged food” epidemic that previous generations pushed upon us.

A wonderful 4th of July to you!